Being On Submission (a.k.a. Thank you Costco for 2-Pack Bulk Nutella)

So REBEL WITHOUT A CLUE is out there in the inboxes of some of the most amazing editors in New York City, and I'm hoping the perfect editor falls in love with Hank and Peyton and all the other crazy characters. However, I'm here to tell you that when Tom Petty said "The waiting is the hardest part" he wasn't kidding. I'm not gonna lie: having a book on submission to editors and waiting to hear back is not for the faint of heart. It's a l-o-n-g process, filled with lots of nail biting, inbox refreshing, Nutella-straight-out-of-the-jar eating complemented by the occasional Happy Hour of Gilmore Girls on Netflix marathon for distraction. Because this part of the process can take aywhere from days to months, my friends, and there really isn't a whole lot you can do about it.

Oddly, I am much calmer about this part of the process than the agent search, despite the Nutella eating, because lets be real, I do that anyway. Somehow an agent search feels so much more personal. An agent is not only evaluating your work, but your future potential, your whole package, your body of work, both written and unwritten, and it's a very personal relationship, much like a marriage. At this stage of the game, things seem more black and white. An editor loves your story, or they don't. They feel it has issues that need fixing and they have a vision to get it there or they feel they are not the best fit for it. His/her publishing imprint is looking for books just like yours or they already have something similar. In short, things that you cannot control. At all. And there's something very freeing in finding that right representative to take the reins, trust in their expertise and knowledge of knowing where it might generate the most interest, and letting go. I believe I've found that kind of championing partner in my new agent, Leigh Feldman, and I have the absolute faith that if she can't find REBEL a home, no one can. Honestly, when she offered representation, I thought it had to be a mistake. :) I was so nervous, and in fact, I think my exact words to her were "I'm shaking," to which she replied, "Why, are you cold?" She's witty, and smart and all-around amazing, and I feel so lucky every day to be working with her.

In the end, it all comes down to faith and trust. Faith that you've written something good/funny/important/poignant, trust that you are partnered with someone who shares your excitement about your work and is as passionate about it finding its way into the world as you are, and the underlying belief that the delay is never the denial. That while there are plenty of "I sold my book in six days" stories, history has shown you that your story is different, and not to get rattled when results don't come immediately. Everything comes in its own time.

In the meantime, I'm busy at work researching everything from funeral homes and embalming procedures to Indian cooking and the Food Network and plotting my next novel. I'm sure if anyone saw my cache right now they would be hella confused, but I absolutely can't wait to write this next story :) It promises to be pretty hilarious. It's also a great distraction from agonizing over who may or may not have responded today and potentially put me one step closer to my life's dream coming true. And the reality is, once the book sells, while that's awesome and confetti-toss-worthy, I've got to be writing the next one and the next one after that, digging deep and finding all the crazy, funny stories rattling around inside my brain and helping them find their way onto paper. Or into a Word doc. Whatever.

In the meantime, writer friends, just FYI: Costco sells two-packs of giant sized Nutella bottles for about 8-1/2 dollars just rows from where they sell those super-comfy yoga pants. Coincidence? I think not.

Standing At The Base Of Mt. Everest: The Realities of Submission and Revision

So...I apologize for being sort of M.I.A. for awhile but a lot has happened that I've been trying to figure out how to discuss here. Since the main objective of this blog is to document my writing journey and serve as a resource for fellow writers who are on the path, the truth is that I can't just share the good and the hopeful, but I need to share the negatives too. Because sadly, they are as much a part of writing as all the other stuff.

To be honest, the last six weeks have been pretty stressful. After many months of being on submission, getting wonderful feedback overall but no offers, and biting my nails to the quick, BAND GEEK is officially off of submission and did not sell. As you can imagine, this was a huge disappointment. It seems that editors did not think that their teen audiences would readily go for a book with a male protagonist that wasn't a book for boys, and while several even said that it would have been great if the protagonist had been a girl instead, none offered and gave me the chance to flip it and work with them to make it be more of what they were looking for. Editors today are truly looking for books that are already in absolutely perfect shape, which raises the bar ever higher. Fortunately, there is a pool of interest for whatever I write next and an open door to submit, so therein lies the silver lining.

The reality is, I'm not alone in the large group of writers whose first book did not sell. However, our egos always want to believe that we are the exception to the rule. Mine was no different. What kept me sane during the entire submission process, however, was the fact that I was busily writing a second book.

Which brings me to stresser/disappointment #2: I finished the second book, revised it to a place where I felt really good about it and sent it out to my beta readers. The feedback that came back was fairly consistent: It was a great read, very enjoyable and fun, and so tightly written that it was hard to find places to comment. This made me feel on top of the world, naturally, and so I eagerly sent it to my agent, confident he would feel the same. This book had all the positive elements of my first: the humor, the dialogue, a fun premise, plus a female protagonist. I felt like I couldn't miss. However, that was short lived because after my agent read it, he reported back that he felt it still needed a lot of work, and that a lot of missteps I'd made with the first book were present with the second. He suggested I work with a freelance editor/book doctor to help get the book into shape since he thought all the bones were there for a great story but it wasn't there yet.

I was crushed. My confidence and mojo were wiped out in a single blow. It was so unexpected, and perhaps it brought me back down to Earth that I still had much to learn despite how far I've come.

I began working with the editor/book doctor, who was wonderful, and gave me incredible insight into every aspect of my story that wasn't working and why. She helped me brainstorm ways I could punch things up to make them mesh better and be more logical and cohesive. Having now had a month away from the book, she suggested that the first thing I do before undertaking a revision was sit down and re-read the book with an eye to the comments both she and my agent had provided. And you know what? They were spot on.

While this was depressing as hell, it was also a tremendous gift. It gave me the chance to have distance and to rethink and rework and to make this book be the novel it deserved to be and the story I really wanted to tell. A story that at the end of the day actually mattered.

This summer at the SCBWI conference in Los Angeles, editor Elise Howard from Algonquin gave me food for thought like no other presenter when she said that she had a narrow list of titles but went primarily for "stories that matter." It made me reflect on my own writing and how although the dialogue was snappy and snarky and fun and the stories were light and romantic, they might really be missing that something that makes them stay with the reader. So I've been given the chance to do just that.

As I dive into this monstrous revision, I feel like I am standing at the base of Mt. Everest, but I know that in order to follow my dreams, I must embrace the climb. As Ray Bradbury says, "You only fail if you stop writing." So with that as my mantra, I take my first step forward. Admittedly, I'm terrified, but I also know that this is my passion and that I will get there. And I am incredibly fortunate to have an agent who believes in me and has faith in me, as well as a community of family, friends and fellow writers who will cheer me on to the finish line.

So wish me luck. If I'm on here spottily, it hopefully means I'm knee deep in revision and I will check in now and again. What better time to start than NaNoWriMo, right? I guess I picked the wrong week to give up coffee. *sigh*

Being On Submission (i.e. Waiting for the Rain)

Do you know that moment just before a big rainstorm, when the clouds are pregnant with rain and you can feel the heaviness in the air, but not a single drop of water has broken free? That anticipation, that knowing, that feeling that something is about to shift and change and suddenly the quiet stillness will give birth to something new? That's what it feels like to be on submission.

I wanted to blog about it because it's an important piece of the writing journey, one every writer certainly aspires to. I am blessed to have found such an amazing agent, and even more blessed that he has a really good eye for knowing what editors might really connect to this story. And so here I am, at the next rest stop, once again waiting, having faith, making prayers, and trying to quell the butterflies that are perpetually dancing in my stomach.

You see, the waiting game does not end when you get an agent. Far from it. Though that process alone can take anywhere from several weeks to several years, once you obtain representation, you may have to perform rewrites before your book gets sent out. And then, if it gets sent out to a few editors and they like it but have a few concerns and are kind enough to detail them, you may have to revise yet again to address those concerns in the hopes that they will be willing to revisit it. This part alone can take months.

Once an editor receives your book, if they like it, generally they have to take it to whomever is above them and win their approval too, and then ultimately, the book would move on to acquisitions, where that team also has to fall in love with it and stand behind it. Again, this process too can take anywhere from weeks to months.

There are far more agents than there are editors, so when you go out on submission you are going to a much smaller pool of people. This is quite daunting, because you only have so many chances for someone to fall in love with your work before you might need to put it aside. The good news is that editors do change houses, so what you are forced to put aside now may indeed be saleable somewhere down the line to fresh eyes, but ideally, we all want to sell our book NOW, right?

So right now I'm sitting here, waiting for the rain. My sky is absolutely pregnant with possibility, and I have no doubt the rain will come. The question is when, and what force will this storm bring? It's an exciting moment to be sitting this close to the threshold of seeing a lifetime dream become reality. There's something magical in soaking up the palpable essence of the moment that potentially divides those two things.